Remain resolution on Brexit

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The House of Glocal resolution on Brexit

(2016/1(HKA))

The House of Glocal (actually, just one rather less eloquent author),

– having regard to the notorious unreliability of British opinion polling,
– having regard to the statement of David Beckham, that the UK should remain in the EU,
– having regard to James Bond’s t-shirt, which states that “no man is an island”,
– having regard to Donald Trump being wrong on pretty much everything anyway,
– having regard to the significant proportion of British voters who believe that the results of the Brexit referendum will be rigged,
– having regard to David Cameron, who created eurosceptic sentiment but then suddenly became a passionate EU supporter after it became slightly harder for immigrants to claim benefits,

 

A. whereas the majority of Brits have an IQ score that is higher than that of Germany;
B. whereas Batman could have done just as well without Michael Caine;
C. whereas the British Isles were once connected to the European mainland allowing people to move unhindered between the regions;
D. whereas the three-pin British plug socket can easily be tweaked to allow for the insertion of superior continental plugs;
E. whereas clockwise roundabouts are statistically slightly safer than counter-clockwise roundabouts;
F. whereas there is a good chance that those voters stupid enough to support “leave” will in fact tick the wrong box by mistake,

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Europe in ice age
No trace of the British Isles during the last Ice Age.

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1. Predicts that the UK will in fact remain an EU member and that the remain campaign will win 60-40;
2. Demands the geographical relocation of Great Britain to a place in the North Sea somewhere near Iceland, should they decide on Brexit anyway;
3. Especially Cornwall;
4. Concedes that Scotland and Wales may stay near the continent;
5. Calls on all Brits to vote “remain”.

Harald grew up in Großpösna, a village just outside the boundaries of Leipzig, but it is only after living elsewhere for four years that he really came to appreciate the city he was born. He is an idealist, a Christian, a socialist, a Europeanist, and, above all, a true Leipzig-lover. He will write about Leipzig’s history and politics, both of which are rather inaccessible to our English-speaking audience.

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