LoveLy - photo: Stefan Hopf

First date etiquette

I don’t think that there’s anyone out there who doesn’t even give a second thought to an upcoming first date and the impression you want that other person to get of you. First impressions, after all, often stay with you. But no matter how hard you try to plan it to be perfect, there will always be situations you cannot plan for – and sometimes these circumstances can transform your date into a little catastrophe, because either you thought too much about it or your date apparently didn’t. 🙂 Here are a few tips to help you navigate those treacherous waters of possible awkwardness.

The bill

Image by Michal Jarmoluk from Pixabay

In former times it was, for sure, that the bill had to be paid by men. But nowadays it’s not a norm anymore. To prevent embarrassing situations, you should give this issue some thought prior to your first date.

A friend of mine once had a first date with a guy who was ok overall, but she was not sure if she enjoyed the time with him enough to be hoping for a replay. So he was somehow in control of his destiny since he seemed to be interested in her.

They went to a bar, had cocktails, he started telling her about his good-paying job and kept boasting about his super-duper life. But when the waitress finally arrived with the bill, asking how they’d choose to pay, he said what you should not expect in that situation: “Seperate, please!“ At that point she knew, that she did not want to meet a guy twice who is first poncy and then stingy.

But that was not the end of the story. He suddenly realized that he forgot his purse and only had 2 euros in his pocket. She had to pay his bill and since she did not wanna see him again, never got her money back.

So guys out there: Girls (at least in Germany) don’t generally expect to be treated to dinner, etc. on a date, but what we really don’t want to be forced to do is to pay for you! However, if you start talking about your great financial situation, you should be gentleman enough to pay for it all.

And if you want to treat us, you’d better tell us before the waitress arrives, so that no minute of silence comes up with the bill.

The smell

Body odor can be something really attractive but also something really repelling. Make sure you don’t wear your jogging underpants and your last shower wasn’t three days ago. 😉 Jokes apart, besides body odor, artificial odor can also be really disturbing. A guy once told me that he knew it wasn’t going to work out with his date, the moment she got into his car and her strong, intrusive perfume poisoned the atmosphere in this vehicle as well as between them.

Three women in sunflower field
Image by Antonino Visalli, public domain.

The look

Most girls are wondering already two days prior what they should wear for the first date. Some of them even go shopping to be the best-dressed woman in the location where they have their date. But the truth is: You should not worry too much! You should dress the way you usually do and feel comfortable with (when not lying in the couch eating chips and watching TV). And furthermore your outfit should be appropriate.

I once had a first date with a guy I met on an online dating platform. We met in the park and since his picture online looked like he was a real business guy, I also dressed up the tough way. When he was finally standing in front of me, I felt ashamed for myself, but I also felt frendschämen (or embarrassed for him). He was wearing a sports outfit, combining old basketball shorts and an old training shirt. I wonder what he really thought about his style, but the only thing he did was to comment on my business style as being inappropriate for a date. 🙁 So just try to be safely average in everything you wear, and you will not be in a situation like that…

What experiences have you had on a first date?

What is most important to you? Don’t hesitate to share and discuss!

LoveLy is in her early thirties, lives in Leipzig and is experiencing single life in this bubbly town. She will give you an inside into her dating culture experiences.

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