Conquering relationship limbo


Your friend has been dating someone for weeks, but when you ask her if this is some official relationship by now, she just can’t tell… does that sound familiar to you? To me, it seems like half of all people dating have no clue of their actual relationship status. And I can say for sure, that I definitely do not like to be in a position like that and could highly imagine that most of us feel the same! So what is it all about?

Waiting for hard evidence

If you are wondering what your relationship status is, it is quite likely that you actually want to be in a serious relationship with that person. So you keep waiting for hard evidence or at least some little signs with high potential of interpretation. And you are convinced that waiting for these signs to clarify the situation is worth a lot, ’cause talking about your real intentions might ruin everything you’ve got together.

After listening to many people’s relationship status reports, I would conclude that waiting some weeks is definitely reasonable and also recommendable. But those who waited for months usually turned out to be all on their own again after the topic had finally come up. Evidence is always in the eye of the beholder; to make it a hard one, talking is the only solution.

The excitement of uncertainty

Sometimes it seems like there are people who actually enjoy having some undefined “mingle-relation,” which could mean a lot but also basically nothing. Of course. It makes things more exciting and also more interesting, if you can’t be sure about anything and feel like you need to prove yourself over and over again. But isn’t that also too exhausting? What might be the advantages of a mingle status? The only ones I can find are based on the idea of having a polygamous lifestyle, not wanting a relationship with your sexual partner or not being able to have serious relationships at all. In my eyes, these are all facts we should communicate… or don’t you agree? If so, please let me and the other readers know!

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Sunrise alone can turn into sunrise together in a relationship limbo situation. Photo from[spacer height=”20px”]

Nice little hints

But seriously, doesn’t it feel a lot better to put the cards on the table than to have that rather exciting uncertainty? There are so many nice little hints to let somebody know about your intention! Once, one special guy asked me if it was is possible to subscribe to me on a regular basis. Although this is not a straightforward clarification, it does reveal enough to clear things up. If performed with enough charm, your center of interest might also be delighted with a tiny little note asking: “Will you be mine? – Yes, -No, -Maybe :-).“ It’s a matter of fact that asking someone, “So tell me, are we in a relationship or not?!“ is not the most romantic and imaginative way and might sound a little off-putting. But being creative to clear things up is definitely worth a try, and might upgrade you from “mingle” into “taken” within seconds.

Have you had any funny, disturbing or creative experiences in this topic? Please share it!

LoveLy is in her early thirties, lives in Leipzig and is experiencing single life in this bubbly town. She will give you an inside into her dating culture experiences.

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