Last weekend I visited a university friend, who is pregnant and is going to get married today. I feel so happy for her, since she’d been looking for the perfect match for ages, always dating guys being interested in loose relationships only. She and her fiancé now seem to be that perfect match at first sight, but seeing behind the curtain made me wonder if intercultural relationships have a rougher ride than those within one culture.
Here is what gave me food for thought:
My friend is what you would call a stickler for order. Her place is always nice and clean, even the cushions on her bed are arranged by colours. She seems to spend a lot of time cleaning her apartment and making sure everything’s neat and accurate. Meanwhile, her Arabic fiancé seems to be the total opposite of her. His apartment is what you could almost call a squalid lodging. Order and tidiness seem to be unknown words in his surroundings.
I feel I can speak for the majority of German ladies, and say that this place is not where we’d wanna stay. Even my friend… she prefers to spend their quality time at her place.
It wouldn’t be a problem at all, if they weren’t planning to move in together next month and get a baby at the end of the year! I can see future trouble in the air… and these circumstances made me think if this is just about the difference between men and women or between slobs and perfectionists, or if it is about the difference among diverse cultures.
Do these relationships demand more compromise or is it just an assumption at first view?
Is it possible to compromise on a reasonable level without losing too much of your own identity, religion, habits and culture, or do they have to live two different lives with particular moments they share? And do these relationships still have a harder time being accepted by their respective cultural environments?
On the other hand, I imagined their expected child as a really cute girl with a mixture of the best genes of both (do you know any kid with intercultural parents who is not extremely cute?), being able to speak at least two languages when entering primary school, being flexible and social with her fellows since her background made her tolerant above the average.
All of us know the well-known saying “Love does not know any boundaries”. In general that’s true, but what happens when love turns into routine and familiarity? Do intercultural boundaries tend to be a higher hurdle than the usual ones? Since I have not come to the point where love turns into routine with an intercultural partner, I would like to ask you!
What experiences have you had? Was or is your mixed relationship experiencing a harder time than the mono-culture ones? And what benefits have you noticed?