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Love in the city: the importance of kissing

in Culture / Entertainment/Dating by

Do you remember your first kiss? Of course you do! You’d probably been longing for it for ages, and when this special moment finally came, you were just so nervous over possibly messing it up, that you actually could not really enjoy the actual kissing… am I right? 🙂

You must admit that things have changed a lot since then.

Our dating columnist on Leipglo wonders if one should settle for a prince without kissing skills or keep looking for that perfect lip lock.

Now kissing is so much more sensual, demanding, stimulating and filled with expectations. Kisses can create a lot of intimacy, they help to evoke feelings, they are harbingers of love.

Or they can do just the opposite.

Minus plus minus makes…???

Some time ago I met a man whom I felt really attracted to. I liked the way he looked, I liked his smell, I liked his voice, I just seemed to like everything about him. But I wasn’t so sure if he also liked me. In this state of uncertainty I was pretty choleric and emotional, because all I wanted at that moment was for him to feel the same about me. And all my prayers finally succeeded. He contacted me and we went on a date.

During the hours we spent together that day, everything just felt so right. There was this high tension between us, which basically pulled us together like magnets. But just on a really basic level. Small touches, little body contact and lots of longing glances. There seemed to be no urge to quicken things up, so it proceeded like that for several more dates.

Our dating columnist on Leipglo wonders if one should settle for a prince without kissing skills or keep looking for that perfect lip lock.

Finally, after two weeks of dating, the special moment came and we decided to seize it. Our lips also learned to use their magnetic attraction and blazed the trail towards each other. Tingling, tension, edginess and desire all came together in this long-awaited moment. I felt his lips touching mine, our lips started to communicate, our tongues moved towards each other….. and I started to realize that this is totally not what I had expected. No, it was so much different, it was just a….. total disaster! Suddenly it seemed as if the magnetic charge of our lips was antithetical, like two minus poles trying desperately, and to no avail, to find the right point of contact.

Despite all efforts, our lips couldn’t find harmony, they were just not made for each other. My mind was just filled with the idea, that this Mr. Perfect could not kiss! And guess what?! He started telling me that my kissing behaviour was strange to him. For me that was the end of this romantic connection. For him that reaction was so not reasonable.

Kissing: the mystery without a key

An interesting phenomenon followed, and made me wonder. How come this unsatisfactory kissing made me lose all my feelings for him at once, but made him still be interested in me? Is it about the difference between men and women in general or is it just a personal attitude? Is it something beyond nature that wants to prove to us that some people are just not made for each other?

Is there a scientific explanation?

Our dating columnist on Leipglo wonders if one should settle for a prince without kissing skills or keep looking for that perfect lip lock.

Studies have revealed that women consider kissing much more important than men. So possibly men don’t lose interest in a woman just because of terrible kissing behaviour, whereas women often just cut things short in that case. An even more scientific solution to this question is the following: through kissing, a sensory examination of taste, sound and smell ensues. On the basis of these we decide whether we want to kiss somebody again or not.

The upshot

Kissing seems to be a really complex action. And I almost get the impression that finding someone you like to kiss is almost like winning the lottery. But what if you do not enjoy the rub of the green? Should you just try to manage your expectations, or is it better to stay alone until the right kiss comes along? I cant’t find an answer to that question! But maybe you can? Then please share it!

LoveLy is in her early thirties, lives in Leipzig and is experiencing single life in this bubbly town. She will give you an inside into her dating culture experiences.


    • I really enjoyed reading your article but think you should’ve given the guy more of a chance, LoveLy. Perhaps your kissing styles could eventually have matched? Perhaps that would lead into another dating-related question: What can and can you not stand in terms of characteristics and dating behavior?

  1. I believe that our generation looks at kissing in a totally different manner than the ones in the past. When i was growing up, i viewed a kiss as something special you share with a person if you both are into each other. A kiss meant that “i like you and nobody else”. Now I’m forced to view it differently because of the way my peers act. They go kissing anyone they want to, its just a gateway into someone’s pants. Its no longer as special and as meaningful as it once used to be. I guess expectations are lower now for me as a college student surrounded by kids who don’t value a simple thing like a meaningful kiss.

    • Unfortunately that’s something I also often experienced. When it comes to intimate contact, times have changed so much. Many people use it to reach their own goals. And the end of it is, that for many of us, kissing and other physical approaches are fading…

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